so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
