Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
