went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
