Tell her she can't have a vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
