i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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