She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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