Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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