i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
