is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
