but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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