oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
they're like a gay fantastic four
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
