i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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