what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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