I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
