Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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