The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
