Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
