i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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