when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
PANTIES FOUND
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