You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
