Quick, to the slutcave!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
