You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
soo... how was my night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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