yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
