Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
