his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
