If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
