Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
