Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Randomize
