You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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