if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someone shattered a urinal.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
