Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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