I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
