I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
