Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
