Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
