Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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