its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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