that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
either way he was missing a nipple.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
