This girl is more easily done than said...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
