hotel room ftw
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
