garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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