I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
