So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
