Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
