Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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