She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
