Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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