highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
