Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
