im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
