I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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