As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize