But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
