I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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