i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
