And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
