you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
