I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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