You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
