Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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