guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
