It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Come share oat with me in your robe
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
