the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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