Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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